1. Dolphins (3-0; No. 6): To be the best, you’ve got to beat the best. And they did.
2. Eagles (3-0; No. 4): The only difference between the Dolphins and Eagles? The Dolphins have beaten two great teams.
3. Bills (2-1; No. 1): Ken Dorsey should switch to decaf after kickoff.
4. Packers (2-1; No. 7): The defense is playing better, which is good because the offense still needs work.
5. Rams (2-1; No. 5): The division isn’t as good as we thought it would be, which puts the Rams in position to seize it.
6. Chiefs (2-1; No. 2): It’s amazing that they made all those mistakes and still nearly won.
7. Buccaneers (2-1; No. 3): No tablets were harmed in the losing of this game.
8. Ravens (2-1; No. 9): Through three games, Lamar Jackson’s self-bet is paying off. He only has 48 games to go.
9. Cowboys (2-1; No. 10): Cooper Rush is performing just well enough to get Dak Prescott to return before he should.
10. Bengals (1-2; No. 11): The next AFC East team they face will likely give them a much stiffer test.
11. Jaguars (2-1; No. 18): Urban Meyer will inevitably find a way to try to take credit.
12. Titans (1-2; No. 13): The key to every game is to get the ball early, often, and repeatedly to Derrick Henry.
13. Browns (2-1; No. 22): They suffocated the Steelers, and they could keep winning plenty of games even without Deshaun Watson.
14. Broncos (2-1; No. 25): Russell Wilson‘s meal took nearly as long to cook as Jan’s osso buco.
15. 49ers (1-2; No. 8): Maybe Brock Purdy should get a shot.
16. Vikings (2-1; No. 23): It was a Week Two performance but, somehow, a Week One result.
17. Giants (2-0; No. 21): If they had 22 Saquon Barkleys, they’d never lose a game.
18. Colts (1-1-1; No. 32): Does that win justify hanging a banner?
19. Chargers (1-2; No. 12): This team has way too many injuries for it to be bad luck.
20. Patriots (1-2; No. 14): Let Bailey zap.
21. Steelers (1-2; No. 15): If they don’t do something to pump up the offense, it’s going to be a very long year in Pittsburgh.
22. Bears (2-1; No. 28): Ugly wins count the same in the standing as the pretty ones.
23. Cardinals (1-2; No. 16): From 10-2 to 1-2 is a very rude awakening.
24. Jets (1-2; No. 19): They need Zach Wilson to play, and to play like the guy they drafted him to be.
25. Panthers (1-2; No. 31): Matt Rhule’s termination has been temporarily delayed.
26. Saints (1-2; No. 20): Sean Payton isn’t walking through that door.
27. Falcons (1-2; No. 29): They’re better than their record indicates, which puts them in good shape to contend for a playoff spot.
28. Seahawks (1-2; No. 24): The only thing this team has in common with the ’72 Dolphins is that they were both 1-0.
29. Lions (1-2; No. 26): Now that they’re learning how to start, the Lions have to learn how to finish.
30. Washington (1-2; No. 27): The Eagles continue to be thrilled that Carson Wentz has gone.
31. Raiders (0-3; No. 17): In a top-heavy AFC, they can’t get away with many more losses before the window closes on getting to the playoffs.
32. Texans (0-2-1; No. 30): The worst team in the worst division gets the worst spot, this week.